Here is the long awaited birth story that I write with my little angel currently nursing in my arms.
We choose not to discover the sex of this child figuring that we already had a little of each so it didn’t really matter.
All I knew at this point was that the baby was healthy and big and that I was very overdue and uncomfortable. The list of natural induction methods that we employed is long and extensive and the verdict is that my body is now officially immune to all natural induction tricks…..
Matt and I went up to Seattle for our now very familiar apt. They checked in on the baby who was doing great. checked me and discovered that I was now at a 4, effaced, baby head down and in a favorable position for breaking my water. We discussed possibly doing it that night in our home or the next morning. It was decided that we would wait until morning giving me one more night to go into labor on my own.
The midwives at SHM have delivered my last three babies and I would never go to anyone else unless I had to. I adore the ladies and love the way I am cared for and respected there.
After leaving there we headed out to get a routine ultrasound just to make sure everything was ok and that baby was tolerating still being in there.
During the exam the technician asked if my water had already broken. I then asked if the fluid level was ok and she replied “your a little low”. I wasn’t too concerned as that is to be expected when your body is trying to stay pregnant forever.
Afterwards she asked us to wait until the dr had a chance to speak with the midwives. I thought this was odd protocol but still wasn’t too worried.
I then received a call from Tracy informing me that my AFI was at 0. They start to be concerned when the level hits 5 and had never seen a 0 before. Basically, baby had no water and was coming out ASAP. I asked if we would then meet them at the house and get things going and it was here that things started to fall apart. She explained that chances were we wouldn’t be staying at home, but left me with a glimore of hope saying that she would confer with the other midwives and call me back.
As we headed home we realized we had not eaten and swung by Taco Bell. Then with my food in my lap I started to cry…. I had spent months planning, preparing and envisioning this birth and nowhere in my plans did this scenario fit. I was so frustrated… Some day I will learn that for all 0f my desires to control things, when it comes down to it I control nothing but my reaction.
We called mom at home and asked her to call a priesthood holder from the church to be at the house when we got there to help Matt give me a blessing. When we arrived he was there with his wife who happens to be a nurse. Mom had filled them in on the situation and she was telling me that there was no way I could stay home, there was no way that this would be safe for baby. I argued with her the best I could insisting that baby was fine and everything would be fine if they would just let me stay home, but she is a mom of five older children- half of them adults- and her debating skills were better than mine. I pace the floor, in desperate tears waiting for someone to tell me that yes, we are staying home…. Instead phone rings and the minute I heard Tracy’s voice I knew….
I received a blessing that I would be able to accept whatever came and that I would be blessed with comfort. That was not what I wanted and at this point I felt that no one was on my side, no one was listening to me, no one cared. the couple from church graciously offered to take our youngest three children for the night and Matt set about packing for them while I went to pack myself. I stood in the room with the bag on the bed, just crying… not even knowing what to pack… we had no back up plan… I then said goodbye to my babies knowing that they wouldn’t be with me to welcome their new little sibling into the world. It was all just so sad and not the happy, exciting moment I had planned.
One thing was in my favor at this point, the midwives knew me well and knew that I would not concede to go to a hospital. They knew that my labor and deliveries were quick so that was less risk for the baby. While they couldn’t let me stay home they did agree to let me deliver at the free standing center where there was better monitoring and it was closer to the hospitals they had privileges at should something go wrong. For this I am eternally grateful.
On the way there we call the photographer to meet us there and one of my very good friends. We had a list of ten people that we should have been calling excitedly to come share this experience with us…. But the birthing center is smaller and we weren’t sure how things were going to turn out. At this point I am crying again as I think of my friends not being there with me… or maybe I am crying still…
Upon arriving at the center they monitored the little one to ensure the baby was still showing no signs of stress.
Heartbeat was great…
movement was great… we discussed how strange it was that they had said there was no fluid. If that were true we should be seeing some sign of stress and we weren’t. Maybe there were pockets of fluid behind the baby that the tec couldn’t see? We agreed that there had to be some amount of fluid, even if it was a small amount.
I had tested GB positive, so they ran the antibiotics. This was another reason for me to be at the center. Because my labors are so quick, had I gone on my own at home there may not have been time to get the antibiotics in.
So we wait… It all started at about 6:30
Matt updates his facebook
mom sews
and we wait….
Finally baby is deemed good to go and the IV is done. The student midwife then attempts to break my bag. The look on her face was priceless as she tells us that she thinks she has made it through both layers of the membrane and is scratching babies head, but she is feeling no fluid… none. She pulls out her hand and examines her glove where there is no sign of fluid. The midwife the attempts and is silent as she tries to put into words what she knows shouldn’t be true. She is definitely through the membranes and there is nothing… I get dressed and put on a pad and they suggest walking around a bit, seeing if the fluid is at the top and walking will bring it down.
So we leave the center and walk a few blocks to Subway as no one has had dinner.
It was a little crazy as I started to feel a tad uncomfortable and we were ordering 7 sandwiches. Soon other people in the restaurant (if a subway can be called that ) started to put two and two together and asked if I was in labor. They all seemed very concerned that I would have the baby then and there and were wondering why we were casually ordering food. Later we found out that one of the midwives was shocked when she heard from another one that she had let us leave the building, given my history of having babies quickly :)
This was the third birth that Seri has attended and she has gotten really good at being supportive, must take after her father. I love it that I can depend on my older children to assist me in bringing forth their younger siblings.
From there we stopped at Starbucks so the children could get hot cocoa. At this point the contractions are making their presence in a more consistent manner, but I had been dealing with them for over a month and still wasn’t sure if this was actually labor or not.
We headed back to the center where my friend Tina had arrived and was waiting. Everyone started eating their sandwiches and you could feel the anticipation in the air. Here was that environment that I wanted to bring my child into. The excitement, the anticipation… Everyone sitting around happily chatting at the thought of another child entering the world and their getting to be a part of it.
At this point my attitude began to change as it dawned on me that the contractions were getting harder and relatively closer together. I wasn’t really able to focus on the conversation and was starting to get pretty uncomfortable.
We put to put the left overs in the fridge and found this.
Michael was also with us at this birth, his second. But this time he was older and a lot more help. He was also giddy and annoyingly busy the whole time. I kept having to tell him to stay still and be quiet. I loved having him there though.
True to my history they went from painful to unbearable in about seven minutes.. literally… I mentioned that I wanted to get in the tub but the midwives were a tad hesitant thinking it might be too early as I had only been in active labor for maybe 15 min. I tried laying down, standing and swaying, sitting on the birthing stool, sitting on the toilet… nothing was working and I desperately needed to get into that tub.
we were way past the point where I could focus on anything but the contractions and thankfully Matt knew just what I needed and when. He was a perfect companion and so much more than just a labor coach.
He understood that I craved his touch between contractions (about forty seconds at this point) but needed all hands off during contractions.
The midwife asked if this was the real thing and I replied “I am not enjoying this at all, I am not comfortable at all and I need to get into that tub"!”. At this statement they knew that we were well on our way. It was a little before 8:00.
That tub was perfect in every way!
My contractions are always so intense and so very close together that I never fell like I get a break or have a chance to catch my breath. I kept pleading for just one small break, just give me the chance to relax and breath without having to deal with a contraction. Although I knew there was no way that was going to happen. I just reminded myself that no break between contractions means a quick labor. With each contraction I would breath deeply envisioning my baby and I working together to accomplish this monumental task.
I looked at Matt and told him that this was the last time I could possibly do this and he smiled and said “sure babe.”.
I have heard from others before that I talk about the strangest and funniest things while in labor. People have said it is difficult because I say things that they want to laugh at but I can’t stand hearing anyone laugh….
Apparently the student midwife wrote many of these things down and at my next appt. the other midwife wanted clarification as to the “Yen” conversation.
At one point I started talking about how I wasn’t going to get paid for this at all. I was doing it totally for free. If I were a surrogate I could be making over $12,000 dollars for this! Then someone asked what I would like to be paid with and I said “Yen! It has a great exchange rate right now.”.
I also remember them talking about people not falling off chairs or something, so I opened my eyes to see matt the children and Tina I think , in the front row with the rest standing on chairs in a second row. I thought how interesting it was to have stadium seating of some sort at my birth.
after 45 min. of contractions I instinctively pushed right in the middle of a contraction. Due to my other births, no one thought we had that much time at this point. they checked the temp of the water and it was 105 so they started throwing cups of cold water in to bring it to temp.
However, this time it was going to take a little longer. Before I have always just felt the pain associated with pushing. this time I literally felt his body moving and knew where he was at all times. I felt my pelvis being stretched. I experienced frustration as I felt him slip back up a little after every push. At the same time I very much felt that he and I were working as a team. That he was every much a part of this experience as I was. Every time I felt the pain of pushing, he felt his body being thrust forward… I kept telling him that we were going to do this together. It was strange, because with all my other births I had never felt this partnership of labor with my child.
Matt kept giving the midwives updates. He could tell what stage in a contraction I was at by feeling the tautness of my abdomen.
With Sariah I had sat lengthwise in the tub with Matt behind me. This time we knew that Matt was going to catch the baby so I sat facing the side. It was so much better because I had something to push against with my legs as well as my arms.
Having been through this before, and knowing me so well, he could also tell when I was not pushing effectively and he would remind me that I knew the correct way to push and i had to start.
I then heard them talking about nets and was so relieved as I said the old midwives adage “where there is poop, there is baby!” One of the midwives laughed and told me I was correct.
They asked Matt if the head was crowning and Matt felt and replied that there was something there that wasn’t a part of me but he couldn’t tell what it was. He was expecting to feel a hard head and not a mass of squishy skin from the head being compressed. I reached down and confirmed that yes, that was the head.
Before I have always pushed the baby out in two pushes, one for the head and one for the body. Matt finally said the head was out. Afterwards he said that it was pretty strange to see the baby’s head out with eyes looking at him under the water. I then felt the familiar swoosh as the baby was born and was expecting Matt to hand him to me. When he didn’t I asked why he wasn’t grabbing the baby and he replied that we were only at chest level. that child took four pushes to push out his entire body! After 45 min of pushing, my longest ever……
he was here. He was mine.
Born a little after 9:30
I just remember how proud of him I was for working so hard to be born. So proud that we had done this together. I kept telling him “good job sweetie, I am so proud of you”.
Matt mentioned that it was a boy but I wasn’t phased at all, I think I always knew that it was. It felt kind of like it would have had he told me that with us having known prior that it was a boy.
I adore how his ear was folded over. Shows you how squished he was.
He had one of the largest in diameter and a two foot or longer cord. the midwife says that is likely one of the reasons he was able to do so well, even without any fluid. You can see a section of his cord and it’s thickness in the pic below.
We waited for the cord to stop pulsing, but after 15 min it was still pulsing so we cut it. Michael decided to cut this cord and due to it’s thickness he had a heck of a time.
I continued to sit in the tub, holding and marveling at my new precious child while my other children looked on. then I felt the push for the placenta and was highly disappointed as I was supposed to have been finished with pushing!
finally I climbed out of the tub.
typically the midwives are pretty hands off until after baby has nursed and everyone is comfortable, but they were dying to find out the weight and asked if we could make that one exception and they would do all the rest later.
there was a reason I felt every inch of that boy coming. 10 lbs 7 o6unces, 22 inches, and a 15 inch head!
while we were relaxing and nursing, the children got the chance to examine and clean off the placenta with the student midwife. We are keeping the placenta this time and encapsulating it.
Kaden was an amazing nurser from the start and we haven’t had any issues at all.
I love how alert and social he was from the very first moment. I love that he was allowed to enter this world without any interventions (well, there was the breaking of the membranes. I suppose that counts)or drugs running through his system.
Even though I was not able to have all my friends there, I love that I was surrounded by people I care about and trust.
I love that Matt and I were able to be in charge of the birth and do it together without being told what to do and without interference (except for the annoying times they wanted to keep track of the heartbeat during pushing…)
I love that the first touch my child felt in this world was the loving hands of his father guiding him into his new life.
We had to stay a tad bit longer than normal because Kaden’s respirations were pretty fast and they wanted to wait until they had stabilized. I didn’t mind at all.
One again I am amazed at how it is possible to love another human being so completely, obsessively and perfectly.
1 comment:
Thank you for sharing, he's amazing! You're amazing! ...I cried. CONGRATULATIONS!!!
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