At this time in my life I feel like I am stuck in the middle in so many different ways.
I have a 14 year old and an infant. Most of my friends either have kids where their youngest is Seri's age and their others are off on their own, or they have a few children all under the age of 5. I end up either talking about college and Grandbabies or Diaper changes and preschool... And I feel in the middle. Not on either end of the spectrum, but in the vast in between stage that at this point feels like it is never going to end. As a parent I am going to be in the middle for a very long time.
As a person I feel in the middle of two different philosophies. The other day I was talking to a friend about Labor inducing herbs and told her she could pick them up at Marlene's. She replied "Oh, you mean the hippie store?" and I assured her that no, I meant Marlene's and procceded to describe the stores location, totally oblivious to the fact that we were talking about the same store. Never in my mind have I equated it with a hippie store. It's my favorite place to shop and if I shop there, then... Yes, my friends confirm, I am a hippie. Really they do say that about me, I swear. Unbelievable, I know.
Yet at the same time my friends that are actually in the "hippie" category I feel have many differences from me also. They tend to be a lot more liberal than I am. So, with them I fit in as far as beliefs on Home schooling, being self sufficient in raising our own food and intervention free birthing, but we differ on many political and religious subjects which are a huge part of who I am.
Then, with my conservative friends who are similar in religious and political views, I am of completely different opinion on those things I have in common with my "liberal, hippie" friends.
Is there no common ground for a homeschooling, non-vaccinating, chicken raising, home -birthing, active mormon, active republican who holds the idea of marriage between a man and woman sacred?
I so often feel like I have a dual personality. It is best to have this persona when with this group of people and then switch to this persona with this other group. Both personas being an accurate reflection of who I am but neither revealing the whole image.
2 comments:
I love, admire, and look up to you just because you are all these wonderful things all at once! You're amazing, smart, informed, and just so much fun... I'm sorry you feel so torn! But please, don't change!
I love that you're the way you are. I have never read anything anywhere that says as members of the church we have to be the same way. (although many seem to think that anyway). I feel that I have been trying to fit in somewhere my entire adult life, and I finally realized that I fit because I'm me. I've also learned that I don't have to talk about all the things that are important to me with everyone because sometimes people just don't get me, and that's ok.
just keep being awesome, my dear, just how God intended you to be!
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